I remember a time when I didn’t like the quiet. Quiet meant uncertainty. Quiet meant something was about to explode sooner rather than later. I didn’t like myself enough to spend time with myself. Instead, I became whoever I thought people wanted me to be, likable, easy to digest, someone who wouldn’t be labeled as intense or too passionate.
So, I shapeshifted. I created this version of myself I call “the customer care representative,” a funny, relatable, high-energy persona, capable of selling a comb to a bald guy. Years in customer service jobs taught me how to sell an experience, a vision. I learned to shift my energy depending on who was in front of me. But that version of me was ephemeral and selective, a performance, a defence mechanism. It kept my real self protected from scrutiny and from the triggers that made me feel not good enough. Because if I opened up, I’d end up right back in that bloody box I hated so much.
When I am truly connected to my emotions, when I fully accept myself, I become my best version. That is when I create work I’m truly proud of. I spend a lot of time with myself now, asking questions, nurturing my inner self. And I love it, every single minute of it.
That being said, I won’t lie, there are times I’d rather transform into an emu, stick my head in the ground, and avoid life. I am just a human after all. But then, I force myself to remember how it feels to create something that is deeply meaningful to me, something born from the dark and light within me. I can’t ignore it. It is uncomfortable. It is raw. It is unpredictable.
When I find myself out of sync, when I stop working out my brain or my emotions the way I know they function best, that is my red flag.
Angry? Red flag.
Unsatisfied? Red flag.
Frustrated? Get the fuck out of here, red flag.
For me, anger and dissatisfaction are dead giveaways. It is a sign I’m chasing external validation instead of my own purpose. We all have emotions that warn us when we’re off track, but when we ignore them, we end up stuck in the same loop, tripping over the same damn stone again.
At the end of the day, if you truly feel your emotions and channel them through your creative practice, you will find your voice. Artistry is storytelling, it evokes emotions in others. And if you aren’t connected with yourself, you have nothing to give to an audience. People feel it when something is missing. It is not there. It is beige. Like everything else nowadays.
But when we tap into our vulnerability, no matter how uncomfortable it feels, we inspire others to connect to something bigger than just a like for like or a share for share. We are past that.
Fall in love with who you are and create. Push yourself to create. Inspiration comes when you are in the mix, when you are playful, when your curiosity is burning, and when you open yourself to trying. My biggest achievements? They have come from the mistakes in my process. It does not have to be perfect. You just need to keep making mistakes, and you are allowed to do that, even if we absolutely hate those little bastards.
The moment you stop comparing yourself to others and start creating from a place of truth, when you lay all your multidisciplinary skills on the table, that is when innovation happens. That is when you think outside the box, build yourself up, and back your work with your soul. Because it is yours. It comes from years of practice, curiosity, and neurodivergent audacity, the kind that makes you see connections others do not, jump into ideas without overthinking, and chase creativity like a moth to a flame. It is chaotic, relentless, and sometimes inconvenient, but it is also where originality is born. It does not wait for permission to make something new. It comes from your truth.
That is what makes a body of work original, when you block out society's projections and expectations. What will they say? Will people like it?
If you believe in what you create, the right people will follow. And let’s be real, if you are asking yourself those questions, you are not creating for you, you are creating to please others.
At the end of the day, not everyone is a fan of God, so not everyone is going to vibe with what you do. But the right people, the ones who resonate with your truth, will follow you till the end of time.
0 comments